I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
