Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
