it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
