remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
