Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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