idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
