All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize