theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
