I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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