O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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