but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
