The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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