i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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