I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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