once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
