she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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