If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
