I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
