She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think i have two assholes
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
