I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
