The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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