It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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