saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
