why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
