just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
