is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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