There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
