Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize