I showed him my bush... on skype.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize