I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
