No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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