Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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