how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
