Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
