Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
