I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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