I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
