id be glad to
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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