Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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