Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
