super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
