this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
