I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
id be glad to
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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