Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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