I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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