I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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