dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
