I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize