if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
