So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
