I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
