OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
