good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
