I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
