Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
