RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
