I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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