and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
