Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
