remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
