This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
