I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We are all done wearing pants today
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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