Christians are straight up FREAKS
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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